One of those rainy days...

It is really depressing today with the rain, sleet and slush. I now know how he feels; everyone needs a hug!

The Monday Night Powerplay III

The pressure is on. I am getting outside sources ensuring that the Monday Night Powerplay is good this week. Why go you ask? Maybe because unlike politicians, I work for the little guy (insert studio audience saying "Awww"). Let's get started

1. BCS = Big Crazy Sh*t! So apparently the Liberal party have found a way to screw up American College football. Well, not really. Everyone is blaming them for everything so I thought I would jump on board. The BCS came out with their yearly list of schools who can pay the most money... I mean... top schools for college Bowl games.

For those who are not familiar, let me set the scene: Imagine your parents sit around the kitchen table each year and decide which ten of your friends you are going to hang out with. These ten friends are the richest, the sexiest (which isn't a problem, really), and the most irritating, self-serving people you have ever met. Now imagine that you have to sit their and watch them perform all of their wonderous talents while listen to cliches about how this guy is going far someday. You have just experienced Bowl Season for college football fans.

How the hell is Ohio State there? Last time I checked, they had about as much chance of being successful as O.J. Teams like Boise State, Georgia, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, and Oregon State should be showcasing their national talents. Who wants to watch Cincinnati get their shit pushed in? I know I don't! Give me Boise State and Texas Tech in a game that breaks the scoreboard (and some white football athlete meter).

2. Oh yeah, that thing - What is hairy, smelly, incompetent, and completely broke? The Republican Party. And right now, they are the only thing less popular than Stephane Dion. He has screwed the Liberal party harder than a two cent whor....... I think you get my drift.

Word has come out over the past couple of days that Dion will step down this Wednesday and that Michael Ignatieff will take over as party leader. Yay! We go from the incompetent to the ignorant! Actually, I shouldn't be that hard on Iggy. I mean look, the Iraq war would have been better if Canada were there right? Right?!?

The Liberal Party are in a massive hole. The only thing that is uniting the country is the continued dislike of Stephen Harper. If Harper were to resign and a semi-popular, slightly creepy Leader were to take over, the Liberals would be screwed. If someone like Jean Charest were to take over, the Liberals might not win an election for another decade.
3. My beef with the news - I can't do it anymore. I can't watch the news without seeing the political biases showing through. Damn you St. Thomas University! Damn you Political Science degree! Damn you independent thought! I went to school not to think but to be thought for. Give me my money back; give me my restitution! ...if you can't pick up on the sarcasm, I nominate you to replace the next corps on either CBC's At Issue panel or on CTV's Question Period.

I watch the news expecting to be challenged on my beliefs, to hear over biases, here them compared with one another, and select which most applies or doesn't apply to my society. I like discussion, debate, and freedom of though. The past two weeks have seen the "news" commentators agree more often than Donnie and Marie! The worst part, it is being presented in a way that is factual when the ideas being spoken are actually commentary. Andrew Coyne is so far up the asses of Federalists, he thinks he's Trudeau some days! I'm sorry but people either debate or report. Don't report your debate when no one can argue back!

4. The worst jerseys ever made - For those who read this blog on any type of regular basis, you know my love of hockey (Go Leafs). One of my other interests is jerseys. Ever since I was a kid I have adored seeing the different styles and variations on culture put into these sweaters. If you share this obsession, check this site out. I might love ugly jerseys, of all sports, even more! My favorite jersey of all time might just be the Nolan Ryan Houston Astros jersey!

As I already know my preferences on ugly jerseys, please give me some ideas. I need good suggestions for a poll of the Ugliest Jersey Ever! Here are the Criteria:

• Must be from a Professional Association (No college)
• Must have been worn more than one time
• Must make you wish for the days of disco pants as a better party accessory

Otherwise, go nuts and send me suggestions!

5. Me in 20 years - I am more convinced than ever that I will end up like this guy in a couple of decades!

And with that, the puck is short of the net and off a little to the right (that's what she said) but the powerplay is still over.

The Pros and Cons of a Coalition

I find it extremely interesting the reaction of Canadians over the past few days about the possibility of a Coalition Government. At first I was thrilled but then got a little worried because (and I hate to admit this) the Conservative PR machine kinda worked. The I talked myself out of the tree and am ready for the possible Liberal/NDP Coalition. Let's way the Cons first, then I will examine why this is actually a good thing.

Cons:

• Giving the Bloc Quebecois power over monetary decisions in the rest of Canada
• Having a Pointless PM for four months
• Not being able to elect the leader of the Coalition who will be in power for 1 year
• The likes of Jacques Parizeau giving you his support

and now, the Pros:

• A regime change within the Conservative Party, hopefully towards a more Progressive Conservative stance on numerous issues
• An economic stimulus package which does not have a bias towards Western Canada (Yay regionalism!)
• The fact that the best ideas we've had in Canada (see Universal Health Care) have been established in a Liberal minority regime supported by the NDP
• The fact that the major economic advisors are people who can get us out of this mess: Paul Martin, Roy Romano, and Frank McKenna
• A government that will compromise

Quite possibly the biggest fact coming out of this coalition is that this is precisely the type of event that would push people towards a Proportional Representation system. The Conservatives now see the inflated power that has been given to the BQ through the current parliamentary system. Could we actually see an electoral system for the 21st century coming along with our new economy?

The Monday Night Powerplay II

Welcome one and all to the second Monday Night Powerplay. The first one generated more interest than the opening weekend of Gigli in 2002. Well... at least it has less of a "suck factor". Let's get to it because there might be one or two things of importance.

1. Sweet Merciful Crap - The Amercians thought they had the most fascinating year in American Politics? Try having a President who was not actually elected! Canada could have a new PM next week in Stephane Dion. While I would personally welcome the move over that of Darth Harper, it is still absolutely shocking.

My take on the situation is simple: if the coalition work together for the betterment of the Canadian Public, they will be representing almost 65% of Canadians. They will be the governing group which has help the most public support in a long, LONG time. If this works, and that is still a big if, Canada might just be assured of a majority after the next Federal Election. If the Coalition fails miserably, the Conservatives could easily swoop in and pick up the pieces if they are sans Harper (see #2). If it succeeds, Canada could be looking at the resurgeance of the Liberal Party under Michael Ignatieff. I think most in the Liberal Party are ready to admit their mistake and once again become the great middle party in Canadian Politics.

2. You did what?!? - Stephen Harper did the unthinkable in Canadian Politics: he governed a Minority Government as though it was a dominant majority. This is quite possibly the biggest blunder in Canadian politics and could cost him his job as party leader. There is nothing the Conservative Party hates more than a politician's ego costing the party its power (see Kim Campbell in 1993). With other, younger politicians waiting in the wings, Harper could have just relegated himself to deputy secretary of his sons school board.

What gets me is the sheer stupidity of the moves that they tried to pull. Why would you try to pull campaign finance reform when you know you don't have the votes? Why would you try to silence one of the single largest employee blocks in the Federal Civil Service? Why would you let your arrogance get in the way? You can't help but wonder whether Paul Martin's campaign advertisements in 2006 were right: Stephen Harper is the Canadian version of George W. Bush. Could he be relegated to a legacy of incompetancy? I guess that depends on who comes next.

3. An Impressive Move - I can't believe this is the third story on the MNP but Brian Burke is now the General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs. As impressive as he has been in Anaheim, I am concerned for Nik Antropov. How will he survive in the new NHL? Oh wait, I don't care, we have freakin' Brian Burke!

I think what most people are intrigued by is Burke's 6 talented/6 rough forwards policy. The difficulty to find 6 strong talented forwards is apparent in the new NHL. Only teams like Detroit, Anaheim, Montreal, and Pittsburgh have been successful at this plan. Luckily, we just got Anaheim's GM!

4. Happy US Thanksgiving! - http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=z-kjM1asH-8

5. My final thoughts on the new Coalition - Stephen Harper to economic policies will now be like Jean Chretien to golf balls, Brian Mulroney is to the Charlottetown Accord, and Pierre Trudeau is to the National Energy Policy combined! Enjoy a legacy of failure, Steve.

The slapshot off Stephen Harper's face straight into the net, this powerplay is over!

The awkward scale

This past week, Plaxico Burress did something which seems out of the ordinary: he shot himself in the leg by accident. Now I'm no General Manager, but wouldn't complete and utter stupidity void any major contract? This guy is an idiot and should be forced to watch every episode of Leave it to Beaver on a continuous loop until he learns something.

But imagine being Mr. Burress and having to explain to your boss that you can't play this weekend as a result of mistaking your right knee cap for a partridge in hunting season. As a result, let's take a look where this would rank on the all time awkward scale:

1. Anything to do with the words love and Facebook. I differ to my former roommate on the subject as she went through extensive douchebaggery on the issue. I think the exact quote was "What the hell?!? Do guys usually tell you that they love you through a poem on Facebook or is this guy just weird?" Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Cincinnati Bengals have more hope than this guy did after that incident!


2. Working with a guy who has tried to assault your family. Imagine for a moment if the Toronto Maple Leafs acquired Todd Bertuzzi (Please God no!) and put his locker beside that of Dominic Moore... I smell a sitcom!

3. Injuring yourself doing a simple household chore. This could include carrying your gun (Burress), Vacuuming (Kobe Bryant), or falling asleep in a tanning booth and waking up looking like Darth Vader (thank you Marty Cordova). These guys have kept us laughing longer then Rosie O'Donnell trying to fit into a size 12 dress. Thanks guys, and keep up the great work.

4. The McCain-Palin type event. This is where two people get together and one of them is so dumb, the other considers leaving their point of view just to spite the other person. Also see Hedi Fry and the Liberal Party, Kobe and Shaq, and Paris Hilton and any person she has ever met!

5. Nuff said: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFijzDyJnVE

And I will be back tomorrow for the Monday Night Powerplay.

10 things I have learned today...

1. Stress is the root of all evil and good at the same time.

2. Anyone who says that going to Green Village and taking photos is corny needs to go to Green Village and take photos on company time.

3. Explaining the word Ain't to newcomers is difficult when they don't know who Larry the Cable Guy is.

4. Three day old hummas does not like me.

5. People hold a grudge a lot longer then you think... especially when the basis of your friendship is making fun of each other.

6. Jack's Pizza is not good at 3:30 in the afternoon.

7. Shawn Graham should have used some of the provincial budget to get the pretentious out of his nose.

8. I rule at life 'cause my mom says so!

9. Why do I drink whisky?!?

10. If the Leafs continue the way they are playing, I'm out $25.

My morning so far...

The white Steve Urkel...

The comparison is scary...

It is like comparing apples and really ugly apples.

The Monday Night Powerplay

As I sat at home yesterday, I tried to come up with something catchy and smart for a weekly post. Unfortunetaly, I got off track and ended up watching 3 hours of the West Wing. So here you are you hardcore blog junkies: The Monday Night Powerplay. The five events from the last week in sports that have had a truly profound impact (at least on my pools). Also, before I get started, Lee Stempniak going to the Leafs did not make it.

1. Patrick Roy night in Montreal
I remember clear as day the last game Patrick Roy ever played as a Montreal Canadien. Our side of the country was getting the Leafs game and it seemed to be interrupted by Ron MacLean at every whistle with a new Red Wing goal from the Forum. Finally, when Mario Trembley pulled Roy, the reaction was inevitable and famous. Al Strachan rightfully was predicting the end of Roy in Montreal. That Monday, Roy and Mike Keane were traded to the Avs for Jocelyn Thibault, Martin Rucinsky and Andrei Kovalenko and les bleus, blancs, et rouges would never be the same.

This past Saturday, I could barely fathom the outpouring of emotion on all sides when Roy's 33 was put in the rafters with all of the other greats. Imagine, playing for Montreal as a Quebecois in the early-mid 90s. That is just the political pressure and does not even include the on-ice stuff. Now that Roy has returned and wounds have begun to heal, one can only imagine the pressure put on the likes of Carey Price to succeed. Jose Theordore met the pressure and collapsed under a pile of rogaine. The next goalie to lead Montreal to the Cup will have to follow in the footsteps of one of the most revered of all time. Good luck Carey, I wish nothing but luck and no Referendums in your career.

2. Sooner Boom!
As I sat at home on Saturday night (Insert the single joke of choice here), I was mostly watching hockey with the odd glance at the Big 10 match-up between Oklahoma and Texas Tech. I was thinking it would be entertaining because Bob Stoops always has a great Sooner program and Michael Crabtree and Graham Harrell are freakin awesome! When your entire last-second play is throw it near the guy and let him get 20 YAC, you know your program is solid... NOT!

The only thing entertaining about the football game was that the play-by-play man sounded as if he came to the church expecting his best friends wedding only to find out it was actually his Aunt's funeral! The game was a blowout : 65-21. Everyone who expected a great game of football was treated to a Detroit Lions game of shitting the bed. I like Crabtree a lot, but he might want to get use to these games in case he actually ends up with the Lions in a couple years.

3. LBJ = NYK in '010?
LBJ in '010! No, that's not Lyndon B. Johnson running for office again (although I think running against him is Sarah Palin's only chance in '012), that's LeBron James coming to the New York Knicks. You think it can't happen? Let's look at the checklist:

• Getting a "Class A" coach in Mike D'Antoni? Check
• Getting a knowledgeable executive in Don Walsh? Check
• Getting rid of the contracts of Jamal Crawford and perrenial All-Webber Team favorite Zach Randolph in exchange for expiring contracts? Check
• Putting Isaiah Thomas in charge of the internship program... ergh... Human Resources? A very creepy Check
• Winning? No, these are the Knicks stupid!
• Not winning and getting awesome draft picks in the next couple of years? Check
• Already having traded one of your First-Round picks to the Utah Jazz? God damn pricesless!!!

4. Burris Goes Grey!
As Henry Burris goes, so do the Calgary Stampeders. Luckily for them, he was on fire Sunday night in the 96th annual Grey Cup. As most Grey Cups seem to be, this was a great game and very entertaining. The play of Burris and Canadian MVP of the game Sandro DeAngelis was stellar and made for an impressive victory against the Alouettes in the Expo Dome.

Yet, this year, there was something a bit more special about the game... TSN made it feel like the great Canadian Event that it is.

It could be that this was their first year with the Game but TSN went all out for promotion. For the first time since the 90s, it felt like the Grey Cup was celebrated instead of simply being held. The parties were supported, the fans were thanked, and the coverage made it feel like something special. I don't know about you, but even Matt Dunnigan couldn't ruin it for me this week.

5. Not even Tiger will bail you out!
Have you ever heard the Paul Simon lyrics "A man walks down the street and says 'why am I soft in the middle?'" I am pretty he was talking about the current support for GM in the United States. It was announced today in a cost-cutting effort that GM and Tiger Woods are ending their affiliation. Let's see, in order to get support from the American public, you are now shedding promotional money instead of fixing the actually problem? You know... cars that don't cost your first born along with an arm and a leg for gas? You know what is scary? That might work.

Tiger is the most recognizable figure in the entire sporting world. He gets more money each year for golfing in Saudi Arabia then they give to Halliburton. His pocket change is not a concern. But by shedding their top figure, this is exactly the type of PR which will allow GM to do what they do best (cutting people's jobs) and still get a bailout from the government... simply brilliant.

And with that, the puck is in the net and this powerplay is over.

In the beginning...

After I rushed to the computer, almost forgetting to set my fantasy football picks for the week, I realized that the time to start blogging had come. I have put off this day for a long time; partially because I don't care to learn new things and partially because sharing the same forum as the rest of the crazies just seemed weird. Now that I have officially become a crazy, the blog had to begin somewhere.

My life is politics and sports. I live and die by my political teams and my sports teams. Thanks to the Liberal Party of Canada and the Toronto Maple Leafs, the last time is was able to smile at both was a couple decades before my birth. The following are the terms that you will see throughout my blogging life (which if according to precedence of such things as eating healthy and success in competitive sports, shouldn't last long):

The David Tyree experience: It shouldn't exist, the guy shouldn't exist, and I choose to believe that the New England Patriots are still undefeated in the 2007-2008 NFL year. Being a Maple Leafs fan, being dillusional to certain events is in my nature. If you want concrete facts, go read Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh or Sarah Palin.... oh wait, I don't think Palin has a book yet. My bad.

A Vince Carter: Not being able to make something happen without knowing mom will approve.

The All-Webber team: A team of monumental screw-ups that should live in infamy for a very, very stupid decision. The team currently consists of:

• George W. Bush
• Stephane Dion
• Patrick Stefan
• DeShawn Jackson (purely because he cost me a week in the football pool by celebrating 3 cm too early)
• Jean Van de Velde
• Any person associated with the new Senators Jersey

These along with many Stephen Colbert quotes will be found in this blog. Now I am off to enjoy the afternoon of football and the Grey Cup.

On a side note for the next post, I just took Brady Quinn out of my pool and put in Matt Cassel against the 'Phins. I could be pulling another David Tyree Experience during my next post.